Think about your first teaching position. What was it like to walk into the classroom and see all those faces in front of you? Did you feel confident? Did you seek advice?
For those of you in TL positions: what was the first day like? Did you feel overwhelmed? Did you feel like you “knew it all”? Did you come in after someone who had not perhaps been as proactive as they could have been – and the pressure was on you?
Now think about where you are in your leadership pathway at this end of ETL504. Have you taken a small step toward leading from the middle? Do you feel confident? Are you feeling overwhelmed? Are you asking for help…and realising that you can’t do it all?
Being a leader, whether it’s something that sees you out front or working behind the scenes, is hard work. Decisions have to be made, people have to be spoken with, and you are usually expected to find the time to “do it all” (look at our poor Director of Information Services from our case study scenarios!).
As a TL practitioner working as a lecturer, I want the examples that I share with you to be meaningful and true to life. From your blog posts and forum responses, many of you feel jaded and frustrated by the sheer fact that this is NOT your reality. Who is writing about your day, where you are the only TL in a large school? Who is going to give you that wonderful, supportive principal, when your reality is a transactional principal who can’t see the value of the library and the TL? How will you find the time to be the TL that you read about in the articles, blog posts, and hear about at school library network meetings?
In the specialised part of the teaching profession that we occupy, we so often put pressure on ourselves to get #allthethingsdone because we THINK it’s expected of us. It happens because we never know when that great principal we have will move on and your support will disappear with them. Or, like me, you keep having ideas to improve the services you provide or to enhance your own professional practice and want to implement them all at once. And the reality is that a lot of the time – this comes at a cost.
The images accompanying this blog post reflect the experience that I had during this year. From “trying to do it all”, to my health suffering, on to figuring out what is important and what is not, and finally making sure I take time to nourish myself (while pink is a colour I dislike, I do really enjoy reading the magazine pictured in the photo, so that’s why it made the cut).
I’m at a point in my career where many of my cohort are aiming for identified leadership positions – head of faculty, deputy principal, principal and others. I like being in the classroom too much to move in that direction, so I look for opportunities to extend myself and lead in other ways. This comes in the form of teaching with CSU, presenting at conferences, and publishing.
2019 was the year to get this done! Everything was humming along nicely at my school, Holly and I were invited to speak at the National Education Summit (first time this had happened for both of us!), and we were also scheduled to present at the ASLA Conference. I had been made Adjunct Lecturer at the end of 2018 with CSU and looked forward to doing more teaching in this capacity. Opportunities were also made to write up presentations as articles.
Holly and I started the year being the busiest we have been with teaching, preparation, co-operative planning, student appointments and Keys to Success. We were both caught up in preparation and delivery of our conference offerings. It was all still under control, because we had our super team behind us.
And then…
The support we relied on in our library team was suddenly not there: One of our team members had a sudden situation that saw them off work for a few weeks (and impacted us emotionally), and our other team member was on long service leave at that same time. I needed to have some surgery. Suddenly, everything that was achievable – wasn’t.
Our school was amazing. They understood what we were trying to do for them and supported us in every way they could. But the enormous amount of pressure I then put on myself to ensure that nothing “fell over”, alongside the uni teaching, presentations, and home life all came to a head.
One morning, after all the presentations were given, the travel was over and the pressure eased, I woke up to go to work. And couldn’t. So I took the day off. That then led to taking a whole week off and doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. I had to speak with my colleagues and tell them that I was mentally and physically burned out. Being the personality type that I am, I felt like I was “slacking off”, letting the team down, and not doing the best job I could do. Maybe that was the “servant leader” in me.
After that time off, I reflected on what I was doing. I realised that I can’t do it all and act on all the great ideas I have. And I started to factor in time to look after myself (time with my family, less hours at work, time for walks and the gym).
With these things in place, I have been able to work more efficiently, take time for myself and my family, and was able to deal with events that rocked our team again in Term 3 in a healthier way. Sharing this story with you is also part of the reality of my world as a TL practitioner and a cautionary tale to you as new TLs.
So, to finish up, I’m here to tell you…do what you can and don’t overextend yourself. We provide “best practice scenario” examples throughout ETL504 so you know what may be possible. But the reality is that you are probably the only TL in the school, with minimal to no support from a library assistant, and so you do what is achievable.
Ideas:
- Think strategically and choose one or two things to concentrate on in a year in partnership with your principal and head of faculty (maybe something from your discussion paper!).
- Talk to staff and students anecdotally and find that one driving thing they want to see from you and the library to help them and go with that.
- It may be just concentrating on getting the profile of the library lifted via the newsletter and social media and in staff rooms, alongside changing your library display once a month.
- It may be that you just want to have one teacher working with you during the year – make that connection, get them on board, and aim to be team teaching with them/resourcing for them once a term.
- Share an idea you want to implement with your professional learning network (PLN) and see what they’re doing in their schools. Don’t reinvent the wheel! The “hive mind” has provided me with many wonderful tricks and tips over my years as a TL. If you haven’t already connected with a wider PLN, have a look at my Keeping up with all things library post for connections you can make. It’s also a great way to expand your “team” if you’re feeling isolated.
- If it’s all getting too much – speak with someone. A trusted colleague, a TL at another school, someone in your family, your GP. Sometimes the problem is not so big if you share it with another person.
Take time to disconnect, even if it’s 15 minutes eating your lunch AWAY from the library and your desk. I used to think that stopping would put me behind, in fact, it increased my productivity. During this holiday break, I took some days away from the computer and just enjoyed the space I was in. Looking back to April this year, I actually tried to do this.
It’s also time for me to step back and reflect, take my own advice! Holly and I don’t offer Keys to Success in Term 4 because our students are only in classes for 6 weeks, so we’ll be using the extra time to do a workflow analysis and finding out what services we can STOP offering. Weird, eh? This will be more focused than the environmental scan I’ve mentioned in previous posts, as we will be examining one step down from the whole school and looking specifically at our practice within our team (ie faculty).
John, our deputy principal (who is our Head of Faculty for our library), is new to our school and so brings fresh eyes to our practice. He has challenged us this year with “But WHY?” (it can be exhausting!). His latest challenges at our recent faculty meeting to end the term were:
- WHY do we do what we do?
- What can we NOT do now?
- How will this look in 2020?
Once Holly and I have figured this out for our TL workflow, we’ll be taking this to our Library Planning Day in December (a whole day as a team to plan without interruption!) and discussing the impact across our whole team and the school community.
Take care of yourself. You are important!
Lori's E-Musings 